Texas

Ok... I woke up this morning with this feeling in my gut that says its time to let go of it. Its now making me more sad to see that I'm not even welcome as a friend or just a silent being in his life. I'm tossed aside, book closed, new chapter, I was just a paragraph... you get the point. And I know I'm more than that. I've been nursing a huge gaping hole for 6 or 7 months now and I just need to rope it off with caution tape and walk away now. Its insane to think that I met someone that mirrored me so much would actually stick around as any small part of my life. I learned a lot, more through this "grieving" process than through the relationship we had. I've learned that I had never been in love before I met him. I've learned that even if it feels like home, homes aren't humans and you can't put that on someone. I've learned that I need to keep my family life and my romantic life completely separate until I feel like that person is in it for the long run. I'm not going to budge on things I'm highly uncomfortable about, like meeting parents... because when you introduce me to your family and have me and my child over for holidays, I take that as "we're serious enough to take that step because I see a future for us" when you don't even know what serious is... not in any form. This sucks because I absolutely love you, in all of your flaws and bad decisions and annoying habits. But I have to walk away to protect and preserve whats left of my heart. I hope you find peace and love and happiness. I'll never stop loving you, but I need to start letting you go.