Which made me bored and want to know a full page of "What is love?"... so as my previous blog mentioned, I'm more or less addicted to omegle... so I asked them... "Please finish this sentence... Love is...._________________" in which I received these things....
giving
living
A word
In the air
Nice
Dead
For stupid people
A guy
Insane
Rock n roll!!
Fuck
Fuck
Rock n roll
Passion
Fake
A passionate mystery between a couple
Harmony
Chemical
Magical
Great
Right now
A feeling
Looking at your cleavage (ugh web-cam omegle you are so strange!!)
Great
Blind
I'm going to be honest... there was one penis and one guy that (as you can see above) was reluctant on answering me... so he just told me how he loved looking at my boobs... which werent even showing!! I have a shirt on and a bra and I'm pretty much fully covered... STRANGE OMEGLE FREAKS!!!
Ok so I read blogs that belong to my two favorite you tubers... and one from a day or two ago really caught me off guard... then it got me to thinking... a lot... I'm unhappy with my life. Not really the physical where I am sense anymore, but the emotional where I am sense now. Don't get me wrong, I loved the things I learned while living with both of my parents... My mom taught me a lot about how to be ones self and accept others for who they are, my dad taught me that people can change even if they have been one way most of their life there is always room for improvement and change for the better. Betty (my step-mom) taught me how important it is to be clean and I picked up a lot of her cleaning habits just from living there and being in that sort of clean environment I really don't want my house looking like a two year old barfed in the sink and a tornado hit the living room... so now I'm 20 years old and out not really on my own, I'm relying on AJ for basically everything... so I want to keep everything he gets us nice instead of wasting it... I let my personality run free and take over everything and let my belief that everyone should have their civil rights and they all be equal. I clean every other day at LEAST and get really neurotic about a messy house... gee thanks Betty!! and now I'm at the point that my dad showed me... a little over 4 years ago I was about 180lbs... which for my bone structure is more or less really small... I just needed to tone it and I would have been just as skinny and pretty as the stupid cheerleader girls that hated me so much... Then something happened, science has proven that when you get comfortable in a relationship you gain weight... but that isn't all... I got comfortable, then I lost my great-uncle, then AJ moved, and all that happened in less than a two month period... Needless to say I got really really depressed. I stopped hanging out with friends and my eating habits went out the window along with my appetite. A few months later I went to Washington to visit... in which resulted in a loss of virginity... not going to lie... then I came back and thought it would be a smart thing to get on the shot... which turned out to be a horrible thing... I went from roughly 180 to 215 in less than 6 months... that's alot of difference. I had a horrible reaction to the birth control and then at the end of it I was eating roughly triple what I was eating before hand... which means I was eating a little more than normal people were... then when I got off the birth control, the damage was already done... I could no longer fit into a size 12 or 14... I was pushing it by trying to fit into a 16... My self-esteem took a huge hit any time I saw a picture of myself and more hits came from my family who would tell me I needed to lose the weight or that I was fat and all kinds of mean things... yes, I think you guys were fucking cruel! Anyways... I went easily from 180 to 215 to now my grand total of 264... TWO HUNDRED AND SIXTY FUCKING FOUR! Yea its a huge number when talking about how many pounds are on ones body... which brings me to the blog I read... She made it a point to say that she did this for herself and not to impress anyone else. I started thinking about how the progression went in my own life and how the depression played a huge part in getting huge.Therefore I'm going to try a few things... one being using livestrong.com which is much more like a game than it is like a chore (calorie counting blows), measurements, which I hated seeing the numbers to... and being open about it so I can get any support that anyone has to offer. I'm planning to start drawing again, and going to continue the blogging as much as I can handle, hopefully getting back into school, measuring myself weekly and posting the numbers so later I can check the progression and so I can keep you all updated on how that works out for me...
One things for sure... I forgot to tell you about it yesterday.
One things for sure... I forgot to tell you about it yesterday.
<3 Tiff. We're in this together. Let's stick with it!!! :)
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