Seriously? You brought everyone down. The minute you showed back up... And you should really stop trying to play best friends against eachother... Not the smartest thing, someone will get hurt and I kinda hope its you in the end because neither one of them deserve the mental fucking you're dishing out dollface.
How the fuck are you going to go from telling me how much you wana be with this older woman, to telling me how you keep thinking about your best friends ex that he is still hung up on, to trying to hold my hand and rub my back and cuddle me? It didn't work last time, why do you think it would have worked this time?!
STOP BEING SO SELFISH AND SUCH A BITCH! seriously, no one cares if you look horrifying in a picture, we still want them because they are our memories frozen there too.
That was all thoughts after the party started and whatever...
Events of yesterday :
Woke up and went to Fernly with my mom to pick up her friend and bring him here for a few days...
Got home and Zaida showed up without warning and she was crying and told me she just dropped off Shane (her very recent ex) and he told her that he has a brain tumor and it's cancerous... Well that sucks balls and then again it isn't something that is coming as a surprise because he has been having seizures and blackouts and the shakes and REFUSED to go to the doctor for the last 2 years when all of it started... Oh, to top that one off he is playing on her sympathy and said he is refusing treatment. Super... What does one say to her best friend when she is so fucking broken up over this? So I sat there and let her cry until she decided that she needed to go to her current boyfriends house and be with him for the night...
Party events :
Got there early because Devon called and said "Can you please hurry up I need you here... Nina is being a BIIIIITCH!"
Got there and Nina was already gone.
Brad, Austin, and Devon were the only ones there and they were all starting to drink at 8pm.
Hanging out with them for a while, then TJ showed up and brought more booze.
hanging out with all of them more and Anita and G show up and bring bitch-beers and pizza.
hanging out smoking hooka, taking a couple of shots here and there not really feelin the buzz yet... Nina shows back up... everyone gets quiet and odd.
Brad and Devon start being emo in their own ways because of Nina.
TJ tells me about Nina texting him and telling him how she misses him...
Uhh yea then she left again at 10...
TJ asked if we invited Jesse cuz then TJ wouldnt be the fattest one there anymore and I said "I'm sure I have a few pounds on you!"
Everyone agreed... and went as far as to say "more than a few"
I tried to ignore it and make myself feel better by knowing that since the last time most of them saw me I lost over 20lbs... For some reason knowing that didn't help at all...
so we started drinking and having fun again...
then everyone started getting sick.
me and TJ went outside to talk about stupid shit because we were kinda being the loudest people around so we wanted to not be... listened to by everyone... so we went out back and talked about his MILF and Nina and then he tried hitting on me again... really homie? how the fuck does that work?
Austin came outside (thank god) and was fucked up and puked and Devon was puking inside the house...
Pretty much stopped drinking then.
Played Apples to Apples with Brad, G, Anita and TJ until G passed out... Devon and Austin went to sleep.
Game ends, we missed the new years countdown.
Nina shows back up.
We all kinda sit around talking for a little bit and then off to bed with us.
Lame night. Already pissed off this year. Already cried this year. Already wish this year was half over at least... Not looking forward to my birthday really... Not wanting to go through with surgery... Feelin pretty low.
One thing's for sure... New years 2011, you suck.
I'm going to read this in about an hour or two and comment on it then. You probably aren't even awake right now but I want you to know I see you and I'll be right back. Gotta go train.
ReplyDeletep.s. love the new layout very pretty
ReplyDeleteAbout Zaida:
ReplyDeleteThe only way I can think to fix this is for her to tell him she's not going to talk to him unless he promises to get the treatment. Some people just need that extra shove. He will know he's gonna go through a lot of shit and to not have his friends be there for him while he slowly dies while he could be getting treatment might make him change his mind. Just an idea... obviously she would still go to the hospital and see him if anything happened.
As for the party, maybe you took what TJ was saying the wrong way. Maybe he was trying to convince you that just because these girls were there and he likes them doesn't mean he's going to act on it, but instead he takes a leap and tries to hit on you. Guys work in mysterious ways... we OFTEN take them the wrong way.
The weight thing, that is STUPID of them to just stomp on your feelings like that. I am so sorry. You HAVE lost 20lbs, those girls have no idea what that's like. If they lost 20lbs people would think something was wrong with them and put them in one of those eating disorder places.
Please don't start eating your feelings again. Work out with me. I can send you work outs that my trainer sent me. They are challenging, and some of them are even (dare I say) fun. You can do them while angry, sad, happy, but you always come out of them feeling refreshed.
I LOVE YOU and I'm not the only one. Your friends didn't mean to hurt your feelings. They were tipsy, buzzed, and it was late at night. They were only thinking about trying to have fun, and not worried about other people's emotions. I know that's no excuse to HURT someone the way they hurt you... but really think about it and realize they could never understand unless they were in the same situation.
<3 I hope this made you feel better!!! Force a smile, and sing a happy song. Brush your hair, do your make up, and make a vlog. Write a poem or short story. Eat some fruit.
Feel better ^_^