Right of passage

Alright... now that I am recovered fully from the most fucked up hangover in the history of my drinking... I'll tell you what I can remember... and then I'll tell you what others have told me...

Memory :

We drive the Fernly and then we go to Mike's house (that is my moms boyfriend) and we get dressed and ready to go there... its about 9pm.
We leave from there to go to the Silverado... which is a bar casino restaurant thing... Good thing that the bathroom and the bar are right by the front door!!
So we sit down and my mom and step mom make me go up the the counter and order my first drink and before the bartender even got to ask me for my ID (I honestly don't think he would have had I not pulled it out and showed him... then told him what it said cuz he couldn't read it) I had it out and ready to go... then they got all excited and screamed and whatnot... Yay birthday!
Alright... first drink ordered : AMF (geeeee thanks for the recommendation Stacy!! That drink became the bane of my existence by the end of the night... or actually considering yesterday I was still really fucked up... it became the bane of my existence until today.
Right, moving on...
So the bartender looks at me like "uhh you? alright... AMF. you got it..." and then I watch him put like 6 different alcohols in it that either I've never had before or I was told to never mix... This is already not sounding too safe... but HERE WE GO!!

1/2 oz vodka

1/2 oz rum

1/2 oz1800® Tequila

1/2 oz gin

1/2 oz Blue Curacao liqueur

2 oz sweet and sour mix

2 oz 7-Up® soda

Pour all ingredients except the 7-Up into a chilled glass filled with ice cubes. Top with 7-Up and stir gently.

Alright... so I sit down and start drinking that... But I had mentioned to everyone that I should probably eat before anything cuz it had been over 24 hours since I put any kind of food in my stomach... So they forgot about the fact that I had yet to eat a damn thing... and here I was... working on the strongest drink I had ever seen in my fucking life... So Zaida, my best friend and savior even though when we went to the bathroom I told her "I don't need anymore" she still let me have that last drink that sent me overboard...

Alright... back to the story...

So we go to get food... taco bell of course... and by the time we got the food I could barely chew it... and said I didn't want to eat any more... and Zaida made me. <-- BEST friend in the world... seriously

Anyways... we got back to the bar... and I had to have a little help getting out of the car and inside the building again... Yes, I was that fucked up from one drink.

Then a few minutes later another AMF is placed in front of me... This would be AMF number two.

aaaannnndddd this would make my father have AMF #1... mind you, my dad is just shy of 400lbs, and I'm 250... we can both drink A LOT and I've never puked or had a hang over in my life... I'm mainly a vodka junky. and I can drink tequila and moonshine pretty damn well too... but anything else? Haven't really tried up to this point... and I am not a beer fan at all.

Moving along.

My dad and I finish off our AMFs... just in time to have the DJ come up to me and the room sing happy birthday... aaaaand then he takes me to the dance floor, sits me in a chair, and the entire bar lines up to give me lap dances... and I don't say "lines up" figuratively... I say it literally... like a line of people were there... switching off... and then some guy came up and was stripping... mhm... yea. ok that part you can watch the video for... mind you, as all this is happening I start feeling like I'm losing consciousness... literally... like I start blacking out right about the time they sat me in the chair... (here... I'll put what I remember in the regular font and then switch it when its something I was told... that way you get the whole story in order but you'll know what I remember versus what I have been told...)

Girl in pink shirt is dancing on me...

two girls give me lap dance at once, one of them gets on my chair and in my face

Someone starts stripping

I scratched up some guys back while he was stripping

I drank my third AMF, which I raced my dad in drinking...

somehow I got out of the bar

faceplanted on the hood of my moms jeep

tried to stand up and remember getting pushed back against the hood of the car

two guys pinned me to the hood of the car and spanked my ass 21 times

I felt stinging... and then opened my eyes on the ground to "did she just hit her head?"

somehow I made it to the car... 

apparently I have pretty good control of my arms, but not my hands... they are like noodles...

we went to walmart and i threw my shoes out the window at a cop we parked next to and stuck my foot out the window

I tried to open the car door.

I fell onto the sidewalk and when I went in the house I had to pee so i went pee, pulled up my pants, and fell over and had to be dragged out of the bathroom and then laid in the hallway puking and laughing

I asked for water and poured it over my head

and puked more until i passed out

I woke up and felt like puking again... so I did... and then I got to the point that I had nothing in my stomach and was dry heaving so i asked for cake... yes... cake... bad idea. and then i ate the cake and drank water and puked up the cake and water and then crawled to the mattress across the room and tried to sleep and couldn't because i had to keep puking... and yep thats about how the night went...

I have bruises on my arms, my sides are sore, two days later and my head feels like its full of achy Styrofoam... and apparently the song that everyone lap danced to was "Bottoms Up"..... oh dear god. So... the point of the story is that I should never have three AMFs because by the middle of two I start blacking out....

The next day I was sick as fuck and we drove to Reno and I played a few hands of blackjack and won $5 but I have no idea how to play because I was still sooooo sick and ready to fall over... then we came home, I talked to my love for about 5 minutes and passed the fuck out. Today I woke up feeling every fucking achy muscle and tense spot on my body and my head is a little sore but I don't have to puke anymore soooooo that is awesome! I don't appreciate the entire hangover and puking for hours and hours process at all... I know my limit... and its two AMFs, or 8 shots of Vodka, or 6 shots of Tequila, or 5 shots of Moonshine... yea... I know my limits... But I blacked out and went over them for the first time... Now that I'm 21 I think I've done all of the things that the parents called my rights of passage... and I still need a night of recovery.

One things for sure... I really do not want to post that video anywhere... but I'll work on it...